DEVELOPING AN EFFECTIVE SELF CARE PRACTICE.
To me, practicing self care everyday, even in the smallest of ways, is a nonnegotiable for my physical and mental wellness. I almost make it a nonnegotiable for my clients as well — constructing what it means to practice self care and holding them accountable to it. And I’m here to have you do the same. However, do we really know what it means to practice self care? Or, are we inundated by messaging about what we THINK it is supposed to mean and/or look like? I find this to be a common issue. Unfortunately, as a result of this, we never truly find what works for us, individually. This is imperative. Read on to learn about the THREE questions I ask clients upon development of their self care routine.
Self care, a critical part of stress management, is giving yourself the permission to step away from the demands of daily life. This can be challenging for some, which begs an even greater need for self care in the first place. The impact of stress on our physical and mental health is under-emphasized and as a result, is impacting our health and wellness both in the immediate term and long term.
Life is chaotic and busy and stressful and overwhelming and sometimes, the things we enjoy, exercise, reading a few pages of your book in the morning, soaking in your bathtub before bed, are sacrificed because there’s just “not enough time.”
But, the importance of self care, in my opinion, surpasses the importance of anything else in life.
Stress wreaks havoc on our bodies. While outwardly, it may feel that our productivity gives the sense that we’re being successful, internally, our bodies are more than ever compromised to illness and disease; bottom line, we live in a society that glorifies “the grind,” and this upholds the belief system that living in a state of chronic, constant stress is the only avenue to success.
Self care is what allows you to live a busy life. Self care is what offers you the opportunity to manage the stressors of the day and feel ready to take it on again the next. Self care is what grants us the stamina to be productive. Without consistency in our self care routine, we are destined for burnout.
That said, developing an effective, sustainable self care practice is an integral part of anyone’s wellness journey:
1. Is it financially sustainable? $8 lattes, facials, massages, and infrared saunas are all a part of the finer things in life, but is it economically realistic to consistently integrate them into a part of your daily, if not weekly, routine? These can be lovely and wonderful and so on — however, they can also be rather pricey. Similarly, the more materialistic/aesthetic forms of self care we oftentimes see across social media are not necessarily the most effective. I am a big fan in moderation but I find it to be most effective and sustainable to choose forms of self care that don’t require a large financial investment. Sometimes, this may be inadvertently causing more stress as a result. Be sure you’re choosing a self care practice that feels good for you and allows you to integrate it consistently.
2. Does it allow you to fully disconnect? This is a big one! How often are you soaking in your lavender bath, but still focused on the 100-item to do list you have in front of you? The mind and the body are connected. That said, even if you are physically engaging in a form of self care, if your mind is running a million miles a minute about what’s next, your thoughts are still capable of activating your stress response. Lavender baths are great, a personal fave, but be aware of what your thoughts are doing while you’re soaking and adjust them as needed. Practicing mindfulness or trying a meditation can help with this. Fully disconnecting, or at the very least, developing awareness around the thoughts that are coming to mind and releasing them without judgment, is a huge part of self care as it influences the mind-body connection. Going through the motions without truly addressing what’s going on inside your head prevents the efficacy of the practice itself.
3. Does it bring me true peace and relaxation? Huge. Reflect on what this practice does, or does not do, for you. We can think that something is stress management or “self care,” when in reality, it’s just something that is passing time or as mentioned above, causing more stress. Connect with what brings you peace — a morning without technology, a guided meditation, a walk in nature, or a phone call with a close friend — it looks different for everyone.
Asking yourself these questions as you develop a self care routine will allow you to move closer to finding what works for you. Being transparent with yourself in this way is essential — self care is such a valuable part to your health and wellness and is foundational to feeling better.
If you need support in developing a self care routine, let’s chat. Schedule a FREE consult below!
