5 reasons keeping you from success on your health and wellness journey.

In my work with clients, I see common themes in what inhibits client progress on his or her journey.

Let’s explore and discuss what can be done about them in order to be more successful moving forward!

1. All or nothing thinking

In therapy, or cognitive behavioral therapy, we call this a “cognitive distortion.” A distorted thought or cognition that then generates emotions and as a result, our behavior. I see chronic ‘all or nothing’ thinking in nearly 99% of my clients and it is without a doubt, one of the most influential mindset shifts that must take place prior to success on their journey.

If we are thinking in extremes, we are lacking flexibility and foregoing the importance of respecting the ebbs and flows of life. Inevitably, you are going to ebb and flow in life. This is how life works. We can’t expect perfectionism from ourselves because that will lead to eventual failure. This failure will cause your poor quality health and wellness and/or symptoms to persist. Repetition of these failures will also impact the way you see yourself and your beliefs about being successful in terms of nutrition, exercise, or health and wellness in general. If we reinforce the belief that we are incapable of succeeding on a wellness journey, then that will inevitably become our reality time and time again. This is not helpful for mental health, the beliefs about oneself, and if we are yo-yoing in either diet or exercise, it can also have extreme impact on our metabolic health as well. Address your thinking, reframe your thoughts — this is going to make an enormous difference in how you move forward.

2. Wanting to be at step 100 when you’re only at step 1

I use this explanation frequently, as it exemplifies the importance of honoring where you are, presently. In order to get to step 100, you must first take step 2. Step 3. And so on. It may be hard to navigate this need for patience, but ultimately, it is what will allow you to create sustainable, realistic change. I also utilize this concept when clients feel they have ‘regressed’ in their journey — maybe they went on vacation or had a hectic holiday season — it can be easy to feel as though we’ve lost all progress. However, if you are at step 50 in your wellness journey — it is nearly impossible for you to return all the way back to step 1… you want to know why? There has been so much growth and awareness built along the way that it is impossible to ever return to step 1 — even if you tried. It may feel like you’re back to step 40, step 45 — whatever the case, progress is not linear. Meet yourself where you are, and take an inch.

3. Food as calories instead of nourishment

This is a huge part of my philosophy as a coach — working with clients in shifting their perspective from calories — to nourishment. This is sometimes the first step in our journey simply because it is inhibitory for them to make healthful, nutritional choice from day to day. This is a byproduct of conditioning that happens in our culture and our upbringing and it has enormous influence on our nutritional choices and relationship with food from day to day. Beginning to dismantle this perspective and reinforce nourishment is essential and sometimes one of the most valuable parts of the journey.

4. Thinking there is one specific diet or label to how they should eat

I’ll keep this one short and sweet: real, whole foods — in abundance. That is the key. There does not need to be a label — return to the basics and go from there.

5. Making excuses or an unwillingness to apply themselves

This is where I come in — gentle accountability and feedback is where I am most valuable as it allows me to hold a mirror up to them in what I see or what I am hearing. It can be easy for us to lean into surface level excuses as to why we are struggling on a particular goal or area of health and wellness — and within the support of someone else, this excuse becomes the narrative we tell ourselves for years and years and guess what? Change never happens on account of this one excuse.

I am your biggest supporter but I am also going to call you out when excuses are being made as they are impediments to your growth — and this is what I am here for — to support your growth. Be willing to lean into the discomfort of, “I am struggling with x”— that’s okay. Maybe we need to rewire, rework, or revisit your goals —maybe it’s a mindset shift that must take place — whatever it is, I am here for it.

Simultaneously, I can’t make the changes for you — I can simply equip you with the tools you need to make a change. It is YOU who must take action.Taking accountability for yourself and taking action is essential — and I can tell immediately when a client is just not ready for it. In therapy, there exists the concept of the “stages of change” — at what stage is this particular person at in relation to his or her desired, or sometimes just simply necessary, change?

I informally assess my clients based on our first few conversations as to where they are in their journey — are they ready? Are they really willing to apply themselves in this process? I’ve seen clients who are hands on, ready to take the necessary steps to feel better — but, I’ve also seen the alternative. Clients who are just not willing to put forth the necessary effort or look at themselves closely to identify what needs to change. It can be uncomfortable, and challenging, and extremely growthful — but you just have to be ready. I’ve had to reconcile with myself that some clients are just not ready and it is not up to me to make them be.

Do any of these resonate?! If so, let’s chat. I am here to support you in moving past these road blocks to move forward and build momentum in your journey.